Recent Archaeological Discoveries

Recent excavations, in preparation for painting my bathroom, have unearthed a number of curiosities that are worth making note of:

1. Cisorium Dullbladia
     origin: small drawer, upper left corner
     content: metals of unknown composition, rust, lint fibers
     use: primarily for trimming the fur of the upper lip of male members of H. Brandonium


2. Pinnium Diaperium
     origin: beneath clawfoot bathtub
     content: mid twentieth-century plastic, steel
     use: for joining together two pieces of woven cotton fabric, generally worn by bantlings of the tribe of H. Brandonium; considered a rare find

3. Pinkus Rockus
     origin: somewhere on earth, in the vicinity of my bathroom pipes
     content: a rock-like substance (unrelated-to and pre-dating cheeselike substances)
     age: 2.7 to 3.19 million years
     use: decorative but generally thought to be without practical applications
















4. Buttonium Propogandia
     origin: under Ace bandage, middle shelf of cupboard
     use: worn as bodily ornamentation; often employed as a means of socio-political communication


















5. Lancet
     origin: inside corner of small drawer; required use of fingernail to extract from wedged-in position
     content: carbon steel
     use: small surgeries, ie., splinter extraction


















6. Broachium Aviarium
     origin: lower drawer stratum, possibly originating in the Far East
     content: painted tin
     use: generally considered a common trinket in its day; of little monetary value, although may be extinct













7. "Temple of Heaven" Unguent
     origin: middle bathroom
     content: camphor, mineral wax
     use:  commonly employed by early H. Brandonium to relieve various itches    

















8. Corkus Runtus
     origin: bottom-most layer of cabinet debris
     use: known to function as a stopper for a salt shaker, although findings are as yet unverified