Friday, October 14, 2011

Recent Archaeological Discoveries


Recent excavations, in preparation for painting my bathroom, have unearthed a number of curiosities that are worth making note of:

1. Cisorium Dullbladia
     origin: small drawer, upper left corner
     content: metals of unknown composition, rust, lint fibers
     use: primarily for trimming the fur of the upper lip of male members of H. Brandonium


2. Pinnium Diaperium
     origin: beneath clawfoot bathtub
     content: mid twentieth-century plastic, steel
     use: for joining together two pieces of woven cotton fabric, generally worn by bantlings of the tribe of H. Brandonium; considered a rare find


















3. Pinkus Rockus
     origin: somewhere on earth, in the vicinity of my bathroom pipes
     content: a rock-like substance (unrelated-to and pre-dating cheeselike substances)
     age: 2.7 to 3.19 million years
     use: decorative but generally thought to be without practical applications
















4. Buttonium Propogandia
     origin: under Ace bandage, middle shelf of cupboard
     use: worn as bodily ornamentation; often employed as a means of socio-political communication


















5. Lancet
     origin: inside corner of small drawer; required use of fingernail to extract from wedged-in position
     content: carbon steel
     use: small surgeries, ie., splinter extraction


















6. Broachium Aviarium
     origin: lower drawer stratum, possibly originating in the Far East
     content: painted tin
     use: generally considered a common trinket in its day; of little monetary value, although may be extinct













7. "Temple of Heaven" Unguent
     origin: middle bathroom
     content: camphor, mineral wax
     use:  commonly employed by early H. Brandonium to relieve various itches    

















8. Corkus Runtus
     origin: bottom-most layer of cabinet debris
     use: known to function as a stopper for a salt shaker, although findings are as yet unverified










     
      



9 comments:

  1. Trash can? I find those treasures fantastic! I especially love the diaper pin.

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  2. by the title, I thought you were getting so serious! the diaper pin is my favorite too. Is it authentic, that is, actually used in the era of your boys' babyhoods? sp

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  3. wonderful artifacts of life!

    please save, perhaps a small dark-wood, glass-faced museum case, with printout of blog?

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  4. sussah, looks like I had you going there for a moment. (That was the idea.) And yes, actual "vintage" 25-year-old diaper pin. From the days of cloth diapers. Do those even exist anymore?

    susan, fabulous idea. And I think I already have the box. In fact, was just wondering last night what to do with it. THANK-YOU dear Susan.

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  5. I can't fathom how that safety pin stayed there all these years...

    very funny post, T. Reminiscent of cleaning out my parents home prior to their move...we ditched a lof of stuff. Some we probably should have saved.

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  6. Bantlings? Weren't they an early rival to The Derve Clerk Five?

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  7. My mother once wore "Buttonium Propogandia" in relation to a war now 3 or 4 times past all current wars ... I think I still have it, the button, not the war.

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  8. Temple of heaven! I wish you would start a life in one hundred objects blog.
    I'm feeling the urge to hunt for the buttonium propogandium collection that is hiding in the house somewhere - my daughter got a brownie badge with it. (She will be forty in a few months - must learn the knack of de-cluttering!)

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