As medical bills once again begin their upward spiral chez-moi, as a privately-insured citizen I suggest that Costco — known for volume discounts — get into the healthcare business.
Imagine this: while shopping for your gallon-jar of salsa and 24-pack of toilet paper, you could also pick up a six-pack of knee replacements — instructional DVD included! You could share the extras with friends and family, or save them for yourself. Fast and convenient, without the hassle of a hospital stay!
Need some talk-therapy? Not a problem: Costsco can offer a 12-session (what most insurance plans in this country cover) DVD that you can use IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME. When you feel the need to speak, just press "pause", and you can talk for as long as your heart desires. And the best part: you can use it over and over again.
How about this, available only in February: buy one human heart, get one human heart free. For an additional fee, installation could be arranged.
And for issues dealing with infertility, a septic pack of fertilized human eggs could be marketed in the refrigerated case beside the 48-packs of fresh chicken eggs. Easy! Long shelf life! No need to check expiration dates!
It's sick — I know — but then, so is our healthcare industry.