Monday, December 26, 2011

Reality Check

After the fuzzy la-la-la-chorus-of-angels-humming scenario I posted yesterday (stars a'twinkle) the oven overheated and the parchment nearly caught fire, the bread burned, the Kabocha squashed charred (but what was scraped free was incredibly sweet) and the baked garlic-mashed-spuds formed a crisp blackened carapace, which, though nearly impenetrable, did reveal edible potato within.

The smoke alarm BLARED AND BLARED AND BLARED and we opened all the windows and a door and it didn't stop so we got out the Giant Fan and cranked it up to hurricane force. My son and I engaged in a shouting match on the subject of the pizza stone in the oven and the general lack of oven space because he'd decided to make candied blood orange slices (which he should've done the day before, not an hour before dinner), and we were forced to yell REALLY LOUD to hear each other because of the gale force winds blasting through the kitchen.

He retreated in a pissy huff to his room (are we two years old again??!!), abandoning his remaining dinner prep.

I poured myself a tumbler full of punch, with extra vodka.

My guests were mercifully late.


  1. Holy cow!

    Never. Ever. A. Dull. Time. 'round your homestead!

    Love, C.

  2. This also sounds very much like Christmas!

  3. the best laid plans, my friend. Life: what a kick in the pants.

  4. Bummer! I hope things improved from there...

  5. I always remember the holidays where something goes wrong much better than the smooth days. You will remember this Christmas for a long time.

  6. I know I shouldn't, but I smiled.

    My son tried to defrost two frozen cupcakes in the microwave when I stepped out to a party down the street, and the microwave nearly blew up and spewed black smoke throughout the house so that it stinks, still, today, two days later.

    Boys, men -- they're all the same, no?

  7. Wouldn't be Christmas in our house without the smoke alarms blaring, blaring, blaring!
    Late boxing day evening and 2-1/2 kids are on their way to the UK, 2 kids back up to Toronto until New Year's Eve and the grandpuppy and grandkitten here at home with us. HO HO HO!

  8. Ah, Christmas. Nothing like a good family get-together around a crispy blackened turkey!

  9. Sounds like a typical family!!

  10. I delivered two of my children and my ex husband to the airport on Dec 27th and it felt so good to come home to an empty apartment. I love my family but there are times...

    Sending hugs.