Monday, May 25, 2009


It's Memorial Day, and this is what I will remember:

1. At around 6am today, three men forced entry
into my Brandon Street house with a crow bar,
splintering the front door and popping the dead bolt.

2. My oldest son was bound, gagged and blindfolded;
they said that the object they held at the back of his head
was a gun.

3. House was ransacked: every drawer emptied out,
pawed through.

4. Pillows slashed open, mattresses turned, carpet
pulled up in corners, sofa's upended, crawl space! opened
with a screw driver -- they scooted around in there
on a sheet, so as not to let the insulation touch them.

5. R., in attempt to get help, stumbled with
his legs and arms bound, fell, got pretty banged up
in the head.

6. Gone: computers, cameras, cell phones, wallets,
passports, watches (including one which belonged
to my late husband which I had refurbished to give
to R. for college graduation next month); and then
some very odd things: my dad's glasses from many
decades ago, signed baseballs, a spoon collection
that my mom gave N. -- no value except sentimental.
R.'s leather jacket that I got for him in Paris,
an autographed Kurt Vonnegut limited edited
edition boxed set.

7. My friend Tom-the-Prince replaced 4 locks, got me
some breakfast, and, with his wife Carol, opened their
home to us. They are the best friends anyone could
ever have. I love them.

8. My sister K. and friend C. helped me sort and clean:
pile upon pile of stuff. Heaping piles of stuff.
Upended, rummaged, violated stuff.

9. Citizen K., also a prince, brought R. to his job interview
at noon. R. with his black eye and contused forehead
and bandages.

10. Locksmith, 1-800-banks, pharmacies.
Police-cars in multiples. Detectives.

11. And the cats: what have they to lose?
A soft blanket? Kibble? A warm body
against which to snuggle?

12. Vulnerability.

13. At some point, we'll all succumb to the ravages
of human limitations, and everything, everything
we leave behind will just be stuff.

14. Sometimes life is just fucked up.


  1. Good lord, I'm so sorry to hear of this. Sadly, your item #14 is sometimes true & there's not much that can be done except to pick up the pieces & move on. Thanks goodness your son wasn't hurt worse.

    Trying to send good thoughts your way.

  2. Oh MY! Bless your heart! I am so glad your son is okay! What a horrible experience! What a horrible day! I wish I knew what to say.....I'm just dumbfounded!

  3. Oh, T.

    Thirty-some years ago, held at gunpoint in a store robbery, I felt the terror of complete powerlessness. I am saddened to think of your sons having a similar experience. And, yes, the violation of sacred home space and treasured belongings is almost too much to bear. Here's hoping that the brutal ugliness of it will fade, in time, dimmed in memory by the shining, redemptive, healing love and kindness shown by friends, family and neighbors.

    For now, it is a difficult, painful thing to get through and there is just no way around that. I am so very sorry it happened.

  4. I don't think I could say it any better than Nita Lou. I know you know that we're here for you.

  5. So sorry, so sorry, so sorry. I will think of you with healing thoughts. What a terrible and invasive and sad day. I am so sorry.

  6. Wow T. This is horrific! I hope everybody is OK. What a mad world.

  7. I'm just so sorry this happened.

    Thank everything it wasn't worse.

    It was bad enough.

    Thanks too, to all your friends and loved ones.

    Your son is a hero.

    Love, C.

  8. T,

    I heard about this horror from Candy.
    I'm so sorry and I hope the boys
    will be ok.

    I'm here too if there's anything
    I can do.



  9. T.

    Mom told me yesterday and i was speechless. I had a horrible dream about it last night too. Called nelson- no response. Please tell both boys they are in my thoughts and this too will pass.

    Your niece.

  10. Oh, that is terrible. Stay strong.

  11. Thanks, everyone.

    I am reminded of the kindness of friends, both those near and those I only know via this blog: treasures, every last one of you.

  12. my god my god my god. this is AWFUL. i am so sorry.

  13. Oh gosh, that's bad. So sorry to hear of your ordeal. Because that's what it is.

    Thank Heavens for good friends, though.

    Hope you're all OK.

  14. Babaloo -- thanks for stopping by! And you're right about good friends, and mine are the best!

  15. Hi I read this on K's blog and now on yours. Friends of friends feel this too. Your blog is well-written and I will be back. Sometimes I agree life is just ... Peace to you and your loved ones.

  16. I missed this news. I'm so sorry this happened to you and your family. What a big scary mess.

    My best wishes to you and your sons.

  17. The deeper problem is that if you fight one, you fight the entire gang. If you do shoot one of these guys in your home, don't report it, or you may receive greater harm. This is the message the non-gang community is receiving...

  18. Anonymous, no one here intends to shoot anyone! But you do make a point. Care to identify yourself?

  19. Were they black?

  20. Three ethnicities were represented in this crime.