1. Lemon-scented bleach. Bleach is supposed
to smell bad. It's a poison. One should never
be tempted to say (of bleach), "Oooooooooh!
So fresh and lemony! I think I'm gonna pour
me a cupful right this minute and drink it down!"
2. The digital clock on my cat's litter box. It's one
of those electric, "self-cleaning" litter boxes, which
is a joke, because it either cleans without letup or
it doesn't clean at all, which means that I still scoop.
But the clock! Why on earth would anyone need
a clock on a litter box? The cat's don't care, or at least
I don't think they care. What need do cats have of time?
It's all eat, sleep, eat, sleep sleep sleep, eat eat sleep.
And the next time someone asks me "what time is it?"
I'm NOT going to say, "hey, wait just a minute while
I check the litter box!" No no no.
3. Scented kitchen garbage bags. Again, no.