Thursday, September 29, 2011

Week of Nonsense

B of A, that behemoth American money-grubber, is once again figuring prominently chez-moi. To date, they have rejected my loan-modification application for the following reasons:

1. I don't make enough money.
2. I make too much money.
3. I don't have enough assets.
4. I have too many assets.
5. I don't (according to them) live in my house.
6. I pay my mortgage on time.

I've been laughed at, yelled at and lied-to.

And I'm not giving up.
The giving-up is what they're banking on -- while they're pocketing their share of the bailout.


In other news, at work yesterday, in the interest of caloric-awareness, we decided to measure just how much "liquid" would comfortably fill one of our martini glasses. The astonishing and most unwelcome revelation sent both Melinda and I into a gloom-state: a whopping 584 calories, not counting the de riguer three olives.

The gloom-state persisted into today.

I've decided it's time to invent the Meal-in-a-Martini: lay a slice of bacon and a single skinny grissini across the top of the glass for another 150 calories. But the problem here is that now I'm up to 734 calories, and it's only one martini. Defeat around every corner! Ha!

Time to switch to plain water. With a twist. Hold the bacon.


  1. Even two of those a day is less than the recommended female intake, so as long as nothing else passes your lips...

  2. Cro, that's MY plan! Geeze, T.'s plan is way too dark and dismal and yes, even hopeless for me. There are long, dark winter nights ahead!

  3. whenever my dad wants to shed a few extra pounds, he stops the martinis for a couple of weeks. Works every time. But damn, when you start drinking them again.....I recommend moderation: half the amount, yes? Having no martini at all is just too too grim.