Thursday, April 7, 2011


I might be absent from this blog for a while, dealing with some profound and unexpected changes in my life.

On Monday morning, I left for work saying "goodbye, love you" to my best friend & husband, and arrived home that evening to an enemy. The marriage is ending. Relationships, children, lives -- complicated things. He wants me out of the house immediately.

It's yet another death, with the searing pain of rejection and abandonment heaped on top of it.

And of course it's not only the marriage, but the loss of his extended family, whom I love dearly. It's the loss of our life together, which I have treasured beyond words.

There is a grief which fills every cell of one's body, and it is all that I know at this time.

With love to every one of you who takes the time out of your day to stop by here. I treasure all my blog friends -- yes, you.



  1. I will be holding you in my thoughts as you fight your way through this is full of such twists and turns isn't it?

  2. oh dear dear T. my heart breaks for you. i wish...wish you were near by...
    please feel our warmth and caring, let us all wrap our arms around you, all of us who read and feast upon your wonderful blog; i hope you'll be able to use this space for a refuge, a place to come where you know you are cherished.

  3. Oh Honey, I am so sorry. I know you are hurting right now but just know, things will get better. When one door closes, another opens and all that stuff, but it's REALLY true.
    Please take care of yourself. Grieve and move on. Know you are loved by many!

  4. ps. I't me Ima, I'm "None" because google is so fucked up and I have lost patience with it......

  5. Dear T, Oh, I am so, so sorry. What...the shock for you and then all who care for you. Such times, if you can think of it or not, the web of love is here, firm, constant. You, your tender heart, you are cherished, treasured. Tears for you and much love, Marylinn

  6. Oh, T., what terrible news. You must be shell-shocked beyond the saying of it. So much taken away so suddenly, so deeply--oh, Lord, T., tears for you, fo the lovely woman you are, and for the desperate wound that has opened in your life. You are loved here, most decidedly and completely. xo much love, Melissa

  7. Dear T., I am so very sorry. I know you must be reeling, such loss and pain, but please know we are here, arms around you. And if you ever need to vent or process in writing but don't want to do so in a public forum, i hope you will use our emails. I hope you will use mine. Much love to you. You will get through this. You will.

  8. Dear T... I just read this. I don't know you but I feel shocked for you as I sit here.. I feel for you .. hope you don't mind my comment but i wanted to send you some support.

  9. Dear T., It won't end up as it seems now. I like both of you so much. love, sp

  10. No! T, I am so sorry about this, it's a piercing misery. You will survive it but oh, the cost to your heart and the hearts of all who care about you.
    What is it that Quakers say? Something about holding people they care about up to the light? I'm doing that.

  11. T., just remember: you don't have to do anything you don't want to do, include moving out immediately. He cannot expect that of you. Take your time to sort out your options and don't be rushed in this. Have a friend come stay with you, if need be.

    Talk with an attorney and find out what your rights are. This sudden surprise is insane and makes no sense. You deserve to be treated with respect. He needs to understand what position he has suddenly put you in. And give you a wide berth.

    I thought of you all night last night, knowing how painful this must be for you. Knowing that you will survive and thrive, but for now, ouch the pain. Can you even think straight?

    All my love to you -

  12. Dear T - I have followed your life with this man via your blog and been buoyed by the sight of it. How terribly cruel this is. I feel shattered for you.

    I will hold you up to the light too, dear blog friend. If you need a place to stay for a while, there's a room here in NZ. Many rooms I am sure.

    As we say here, kia kaha - be strong. X

  13. T.

    I can only imagine how truly terrible this must be for you--& I know an e-hug doesn't offer the comfort of a realtime one, but if the positive energy of wanting to offer a supporting pair of arms can be transferred, then that energy is yours, right here and right now. Kia kaha: be strong. Ka awhina: we're with you, dear T.

  14. Dear blog readers, I have come back to your comments time and time again today (thank god for my iPhone) and you've offered the purest love and support a person could wish for.

    Your friendship is a blessing that spans the globe, a balm and a benediction for which I am infinitely grateful and humbled.


  15. Dear T. This seems completely crazy; almost like a bereavement. A moment of madness maybe? I do hope you can resolve matters. I was really very shocked reading this today. Bisou, Cro.

  16. Dear T, tears for you and with you. We all stand alongside you in your shock and pain. Such an abrupt and unimaginable change. . . We link arms and hearts in solidarity and compassion. As our friends here have said before me, we cherish you and your beautiful, capacious heart. We are here and will be your shade-giving tree. Much love, dear friend. Kia Kaha. xo

  17. Dear T-

    I am so sorry.

    Know that we are with you in your pain and loss, that we care for you and about you. Maybe the universe is a vast desolate field of emptiness, or a malevolent machine bent on our destruction, or perhaps each of us standing around you are tangible manifestations of the love the universe has for you in particular.

    Maybe all three things are true.

    You know the lessons to be learned in this kind of devastation because you've endured it before in another guise.

    Now you will be your own best teacher, guiding yourself through the blasted, smoking landscape towards a place, not so far away, where the sky is just tinged with a barely perceptible light.

    Nor can you be alone in it, for you are guiding yourself, and that's at least two people I count.

    And, in a circle around your fire, the rest of us, cheering you on through our tears.



  18. T-
    You, Reilly and Nelson are all in our thoughts. I know the pain and loss are most profound for you but I it must be so hard for R & N to see their mom catapulted into grief once again. Let us know if there is anything we can do beyond sending you thoughts of light and hope and goodness.
    Love, Susan

  19. Dear T.,

    When I first read/heard the news, I had no idea it was so final. Life can be sooo unfair. Just count me as another friend who is thinking of you, breathing with you, sending you love and support all day long. Brandon Street grieves with and for you.


  20. I don't know you personally Therese but my stomach flipped when I read your words. I'll be thinking about you. Be strong. Hazel

  21. O my goddessa -- I am so so so sorry.

    With much love, C.

  22. Darling T. We are so very sorry. We love you dearly. Gregg and Becki

  23. My dearest sister, here I sit with tears streaming down my face, having read all of the loving words of oh so many who love you. Yet, words fail me. You do not deserve this devastating pain.