Friday, October 14, 2011

Recent Archaeological Discoveries

Recent excavations, in preparation for painting my bathroom, have unearthed a number of curiosities that are worth making note of:

1. Cisorium Dullbladia
     origin: small drawer, upper left corner
     content: metals of unknown composition, rust, lint fibers
     use: primarily for trimming the fur of the upper lip of male members of H. Brandonium

2. Pinnium Diaperium
     origin: beneath clawfoot bathtub
     content: mid twentieth-century plastic, steel
     use: for joining together two pieces of woven cotton fabric, generally worn by bantlings of the tribe of H. Brandonium; considered a rare find

3. Pinkus Rockus
     origin: somewhere on earth, in the vicinity of my bathroom pipes
     content: a rock-like substance (unrelated-to and pre-dating cheeselike substances)
     age: 2.7 to 3.19 million years
     use: decorative but generally thought to be without practical applications

4. Buttonium Propogandia
     origin: under Ace bandage, middle shelf of cupboard
     use: worn as bodily ornamentation; often employed as a means of socio-political communication

5. Lancet
     origin: inside corner of small drawer; required use of fingernail to extract from wedged-in position
     content: carbon steel
     use: small surgeries, ie., splinter extraction

6. Broachium Aviarium
     origin: lower drawer stratum, possibly originating in the Far East
     content: painted tin
     use: generally considered a common trinket in its day; of little monetary value, although may be extinct

7. "Temple of Heaven" Unguent
     origin: middle bathroom
     content: camphor, mineral wax
     use:  commonly employed by early H. Brandonium to relieve various itches    

8. Corkus Runtus
     origin: bottom-most layer of cabinet debris
     use: known to function as a stopper for a salt shaker, although findings are as yet unverified



  1. All currently residing in trash can?

  2. Trash can? I find those treasures fantastic! I especially love the diaper pin.

  3. by the title, I thought you were getting so serious! the diaper pin is my favorite too. Is it authentic, that is, actually used in the era of your boys' babyhoods? sp

  4. wonderful artifacts of life!

    please save, perhaps a small dark-wood, glass-faced museum case, with printout of blog?

  5. sussah, looks like I had you going there for a moment. (That was the idea.) And yes, actual "vintage" 25-year-old diaper pin. From the days of cloth diapers. Do those even exist anymore?

    susan, fabulous idea. And I think I already have the box. In fact, was just wondering last night what to do with it. THANK-YOU dear Susan.

  6. I can't fathom how that safety pin stayed there all these years...

    very funny post, T. Reminiscent of cleaning out my parents home prior to their move...we ditched a lof of stuff. Some we probably should have saved.

  7. Bantlings? Weren't they an early rival to The Derve Clerk Five?

  8. My mother once wore "Buttonium Propogandia" in relation to a war now 3 or 4 times past all current wars ... I think I still have it, the button, not the war.

  9. Temple of heaven! I wish you would start a life in one hundred objects blog.
    I'm feeling the urge to hunt for the buttonium propogandium collection that is hiding in the house somewhere - my daughter got a brownie badge with it. (She will be forty in a few months - must learn the knack of de-cluttering!)